Fake Success?

Last week a Palm Springs, CA man who was never in the military was charged with wearing the Navy’s highest honor.  Federal prosecutors in Los Angeles say 39-year-old Steven Burton was photographed wearing the Navy Cross along with the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart and other medals.

This guy made his grand entrance at his high school reunion.  I guess being a bank teller wasn’t the image he wanted to share with his former classmates.  Unfortunately for Burton, another classmate was a real Navy commander and after a few questions decided to contact the FBI.  Authorities say Burton could face up to a year in federal prison if convicted.

Are we really caught up in that much pressure to appear “successful?”  Is it embarrassing to be a faithful and happy family man who drives a UPS truck, or grows organic vegetables, or works on an assembly line?  Or a woman who has chosen to be a stay-at-home mom rather than climb the corporate ladder?  Would being a marriage counselor or a grade-school teacher be viewed as adequate success? 

What parts of our lives do we want our old classmates to know about?  Are good health, spiritual vitality and loving relationships enough to be proud of as a life well lived? 

For years I have borrowed this definition of success:  “Success = the progressive realization of worthwhile goals.”  That allows success for a college sophomore who is learning to learn, or for the person who chooses to teach reading in the ghetto, or for the artist who create beautiful works, or for the individual who delivers the mail – and a smile. 

Stories of faking success are not new.  Frank Abagnale, Jr. (inspiration for the movie Catch Me if You Can) successfully impersonated an airline pilot, a doctor, a prison inspector and a lawyer – and passed $2.5 million in fake bills – all before he was 21 years old.  In the movie, the pursuing FBI agent observed that “sometimes it’s easier living the lie.”  I suspect that’s true for many people.

Does your definition of success match where you are in life?  Or do you find it necessary to fake success at your high school reunion?  If you could write your life as a movie script, what changes would you make?

Can you teach a horse to fly?

The sultan of Persia had sentenced two men to death.  One of them, knowing how much the sultan loved his stallion, offered to teach the horse to fly within a year in return for his life.  The sultan, fancying himself as the rider of the only flying horse in the world, agreed.

The other prisoner looked at his friend in disbelief.  “You know horses don’t fly.  What made you come up with a crazy idea like that?  You’re only postponing the inevitable.”  “Not so,” said the first prisoner.  “I have actually given myself four chances for freedom.  First, the sultan might die during the year.  Second, I might die.  Third, the horse might die.  And fourth…I might teach the horse to fly.”  Source:  The Craft of Power, R.G.H. Siu, 1979

Wow – I like this guy’s thinking.  Rather than giving in to victim mentality, with one creative suggestion, he creates four possible outcomes other than just being put to death.

So let’s imagine you’ve just been told your job is being eliminated?  Can you propose a solution that would benefit both you and your employer? 

 We will award the 48 Days Fresh Start Package to two people with the most creative answers by Thanksgiving Day.

Success too early?

What happens if you hit your dream too early?  For years I’ve watched this phenomenon play out in 21-yr-old NFL players who sabotage their early success.  The stories of drug abuse and personal failure as child actors become adults are legend.  Most lottery winners destroy their unexpected success within three years.  Last year I spoke at the White House to a group of mostly 30-somethings who knew they would be moved out with the next administration.  Where do you go after having had a White House assignment so early in your career?  

Wednesday night Taylor Swift described her emotions upon winning the CMA Entertainer of the Year – that industry’s highest honor.  She said she was dumbfounded at winning the award of her dreams at only 19 years old.  She added that she always likes a challenge and she wasn’t sure now what new challenge she would be working toward. 

Is it a good thing or a curse to “win” too early in life?  Is success sweeter if it comes only after years of hard work?  Are you ready to handle success? 

Cervantes said, “The road is better than the inn.”  In my own experience I know I’ve frequently enjoyed the challenge of success more than the end result I had in mind. 

Have you ever seen a dog that actually catches a car?   While the chasing seemed to be a thrilling adventure, reaching it usually produces a state of “What now?”  It seems that attaining success often confuses people as well.

 

“Profitable Servant”

A client recently stated that she wanted to be a “profitable servant.”  What a wonderful term – and no, that’s not an oxymoron.  The words profit and servant do go together like a hand in a glove.  In Thou Shall Prosper, Rabbi Daniel Lapin addresses the question: “Does God want you to be rich?”  He says, “God wants you to be obsessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”  And guess what, if you do that, wealth will just show up.  When you are alone, you will starve to death.  When you find ways to serve others, you open the door financially. 

For years the motto of the Rotary International organization was simply – “He Profits Most Who Serves Best.”  Sounds like a plan to me.

Talent is nothing to God – oh really?

Okay, here’s a sticky theological question from a reader:

Dan, I love to share my faith with others and I seem to have many natural talents, skills and abilities suited for a minister. Many people have even suggested I enter the Ministry. However, I believe that no matter how suited someone may be for ministry they must be called of God in order to be a Minister. Talent is nothing to God. He rather wants a fully surrendered and obedient individual. I suppose my question is how do I know whether I’m called to be a minister or just an entrepreneur with an idea I’m passionate about? – John

How does God “call” us except through giving us skills and abilities, personality traits and passions that draw us in a particular direction?  To think that God will ask a “fully surrendered and obedient individual” to something where there is no alignment with natural talents opens the door to heartache and misery. 

Let’s just play out John’s thinking here.  How would you like to attend a church where the pastor has no talent, skill or passion for that position – but he was just “willing and obedient?”  How long would you attend that church?

Apply this thinking to any work.  Would you want a doctor who had no skill but thought he was “called” to the medical profession?  How about a teacher who had a passion for being an artist but was convinced through well-meaning family that she was “called” to be a teacher? 

I’ve met with too many pastors, missionaries, and teachers who were obedient and willing, but whose natural skills did not line up with what their attempts to do something “Godly.”  Many confused “calling” with the family tradition or the expectations of others.  And their work was frustrating, spiritually depleting and ultimately led to a crisis that required change.

When there is an alignment of our skills, abilities, talents, personality traits and passions we will recognize God’s “call.”  We will experience work that is fulfilling, meaningful, purposeful – and profitable. 

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“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Frederick Buechner

Don’t look at the white elephant

Boy, talk about calling a spade a spade.  Joanne and I were driving through the mountains in east Tennessee this weekend and passed this real church sign.  I cranked a u-turn and went back for this picture. 

 

 

 

And then yesterday morning I was pulled aside by a long time friend who wanted my opinion on how his church is asking for money.  He feels like they are begging and using guilt to get people to “give sacrificially.”  Yes I know churches are struggling with the economic downturn as well, but should they resort to the same tactics as a street panhandler? 

 

Here’s the first of nine steps on How to Panhandle from wikiHow:

Swallow your pride. Most people find it difficult to quietly beg for money from friends or relatives; it’s even harder to beg from complete strangers where everybody can see you. Still, you’re going to have to suck it up and be humble.

Or if you’re uncomfortable facing the people you are asking for money, here’s a site that will help you set up your own website to cyberbeg:  And there is a “success” story there where a lady raised $20K to pay off her credit cards.

Personally, I think there are more honorable ways to generate money, whether you’re a church or an individual. 

 

Spin a new idea

You’ve seen them on every corner – the sign spinners that seem to combine dance, rap, skateboarding and surfing.  And yes they do get your attention.  Max Durovic and Michael Kenny, now 25 and 26-year-olds, devised stunts with signs simply to stave off boredom in their simple sign-holding jobs.

We tend to think that any great idea needs to be complicated, using sophisticated technology, and requiring venture capital or at least a big bank loan.  Max and Michael now train others in the moves that are leading their company (Aarow Advertising) to a projected $5 million income this year.  Their 500 spinning employees earn at least $25 an hour, but a real virtuoso will command $70.  Justin Brown, Aarow’s director of training, says, “Sign spinning is a lot like ballroom dancing, except your partner has no life of its own.  Giving the sign its life and personality is a spinner’s true task.” 

Now think about the subtle difference between poverty and prosperity.  I’ve seen guys all over town here in Franklin, TN – guys with not much going on who are paid $7 an hour to stand on a corner with a sign.  Often you see them with the sign propped up while they listen to their iPod or read a book.  The thinking is likely – Hey I’m not paid much, I’ll just take it easy.  How much difference is there in education, age, work history or intelligence between a $7 an hour worker and a $70 an hour one?   That’s right – none of those things makes any difference.  But somewhere someone with a $7 an hour job saw an opportunity to be different – to stand out from the crowd.  And to potentially earn 10 times what they had been making. 

How many people now mowing yards, flipping hamburgers, filing papers, cashiering at Mapco, cleaning hotel rooms, changing oil, dispensing movie tickets, sweeping up popcorn, washing windows, directing construction traffic, or driving a mail route are one idea away from a big opportunity?   Where the chance to do it differently would give them 10 times their current income?

And now the last question:   Are you sitting on top of your opportunity?

Want a sweet business?

Do you think all businesses are suffering right now?  Well guess what makes the hard times a little easier to handle – candy.  There are many historical markers that show candy sales soar when the economy is in the tank.  As unemployment rises, so do sales of Tootsie Rolls, Gummy Bears and Hershey’s Kisses.  Terese McDonald, owner or Candyality in Chicago says her business is up 80% compared to this time last year.  She’s struggling to keep up with the demand for Bit-O-Honeys, Swedish Fish and Sour Balls. 

Nestlé’s profits surged a staggering 30% in 2008.  British chocolate maker Cadbury saw their revenue rise 10.9% in the same time period.

Remember the Great Depression?  Candy companies found a burst of growth in the 1930s as well.  Those hard times spawned the introduction of such candy great as Snickers (1930), Tootsie Pops (1931), Mars bars and Three Musketeers (1932). 

It seems candy brings back memories of better times before bank collapses and government bailouts.  And yes, sales of candy up and down Wall Street have exploded as out of work bankers and stock brokers look for a little sugar lift in a languishing economy.  Perhaps a small indulgence dulls the sting of no paycheck. 

Are you recognizing similar opportunities that may actually be fueled by the struggling economy?  Is this recession a help or a hindrance to your current business?  Don’t assume that every business is suffering.

You gotta get outta the pot!

Be careful who you allow to influence your thinking and actions!

In the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki tells the story of the Hawaiian Black Crabs.  If you go down to the beach early in the morning you can easily find black crabs.  You just toss them in your bucket and continue walking on the beach.  Now those crabs start thinking, “We’re bumping around in this little bucket making a lot of noise but going nowhere.” 

Eventually, one crab looks up and thinks, “There’s a whole new world up there.  If I could just get my foot up over the edge, I could get out, get my freedom and explore the world in my own way.”  So he stretches up, pushes a little, and sure enough, gets one foot over the edge.  But just as he is about to tip the balance and go over the edge — a crab from the bottom of the bucket reaches up and pulls him back down.  Instead of encouraging him and seeing how they could help each other get to freedom one by one, they pull anyone attempting back down into that confining bucket where nothing but a boiling pot of water is waiting for them.  Nobody in that bucket is going to end up a winner.

Unfortunately, that’s not an uncommon picture of the world in which we live and work.  Many of us live around a bunch of Black Crabs, ready to ridicule any new idea we have and just as eager to pull us back down to their level of performance.  Small thinkers find it much easier to tell you why something won’t work than to help you find a solution.  People who feel trapped and are struggling at a low level of success are seldom the ones who will cheer you on to a new endeavor.  Prejudice and bigotry are rooted in the same mentality – people who somehow feel better about their own miserable existence by pulling others down. 

I have found that one of the key characteristics of successful people is that they hang around people who are already performing at the level at which they want to perform. 

In Killers of the Dream, Lillian Smith wrote, “We in America – and men across the earth – have trapped ourselves with that word equality, which is inapplicable to the genus man.  I wish we would forget it.  Stop its use in our country:  Let the communists have it. It isn’t fit for men who fling their dreams across the skies.  It is fit only for a leveling down of mankind.”

There will always be naysayers and whiners; avoid them.  Avoid the Black Crabs around you.  Find winners and spend time with them!  Even the Bible warns us:  “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Proverbs 22:24-25

Who are the Black Crabs in your life?  How can you avoid them or move on?

Nobody Gets “Fired” Anymore

In a workshop this last week, we were hearing from the many participants who were recently “released” from their jobs.  The terms for being “let go” became themselves the center of attention as we moved around the room.  It seems no one just plain gets “fired” anymore in this politically correct work environment.

In 1980 a person got “fired.”  By 1985 it was “laid off.”  In 1990 it became “downsized.”  Now a person can be “rightsized,” “ restructured,” “ reorganized,” “reengineered” or “put in the mobility pool.”  I hear that many people are being freed up to “pursue other opportunities.”  In this computer age, some people are being “uninstalled” and receiving their termination notices via e-mail.   I’m continually amazed at the fancy words for getting people in the front door and the euphemisms for sending people out the back door continue to grow in creativity as well. 

Is it surprising that morale is often low for the remaining employees who realize that their workload has tripled, their salary has remained the same, and they are the “lucky” ones to still be around after all the smart ones took the “buy-out” package and immediately got better jobs elsewhere?  Now we have to redefine “lucky.”

I asked our readers to submit terms they have encountered:   Here are just a few of the best:

• Released to the market place to better achieve your goals
• My husband and I work for a ministry. Last week we were told to “transfer” somewhere else. Of course they didn’t give us anywhere to go either. In other words, we don’t need you anymore after 20 years of service. The reason “It will help your spiritual growth”. Whatever that means!
• My former company used the term “impacted”. I was told that my position had been “impacted”.
• My sister was told about the poor economic conditions and the downturn in tourism.  She was informed she was NOT being terminated or laid off. However, her supervisor informed her that her scheduled work hours “were being reduced to zero”. WHEW! At least she wasn’t laid off!
• My company calls it Evolving. A person is not fired, they are evolved. That means put on a new opportunity which the company thinks there is no chance of winning. Then when the contract is not won, the person has to leave because the business just was not there to support them.
• I was told they were “restructuring” and that the new “structure” did not include me. I had been downsized, but that I should take notice (like it was a good thing) it says “Reduction In Force” on my official pink slip. I guess that was their nice way of saying I was eligible for unemployment compensation.
• I tell folks I was DIVORCED from the company, because they sent me away with money and it was an end to our relationship. People seem to readily accept divorce these days.
• In the “dismissal” letter I got it was written, “due to declining enrollment and increasing expenses, we are forced to dismiss all ‘expendable’ personnel.” To me it was a slap in the face to think that the dedication and enthusiasm I had brought to this institution, as a student and employee, was ‘expendable’.
• I was told I was being “made available to the industry.”
• As a programmer/analyst for a large bank, I was invited to ‘participate in the bank’s employee-reduction initiative’ last April.
• I work for a large electronic retailer, and no one gets fired here, they just get “promoted to customer.”

James H. Kennedy, publisher of “Executive Recruiter News,” lists even more of the latest terms in use:

“Axed, canned, coerced transition, decruited, deselected, destaffed, excessed, fumigation, indefinite idling, negotiated departure, personnel surplus reduction, premature retirement, redundancy elimination, right-sized, selected out, selectively separated, vocational relocation, and workforce imbalance correction.”

Wow – I get tired just reading through all of those.  If you’ve been on the receiving end of one of these terms, the only question is, what are you doing to move forward?  One lady shared that in her mind she had been given the “grace of interruption.”  Now there’s a term that implies peace and renewal.