Have another matzo ball – please

Know anyone who is angry about being fired, or about a failed business or a disappointing relationship?  Do you see how that anger continues to cripple that individual – not the company, the business partner or the brother-in-law – but the individual holding on to the anger?  That anger saps creativity, causes attempts at goodness to appear artificial and renders a split soul.

The #1 characteristic of highly successful people is “integrity” as documented in The Millionaire Mind by Thomas Stanley.  Integrity means whole, unbroken, undivided.  It describes a person who has united the parts of his or her being into a spiritually rich and unified wholeness.

At the Passover Seder, when Jews celebrate the memory of their exodus from Egypt, they taste a bitter herb to recall the old days of slavery, but then immediately override that bitter taste with matzo and wine, symbols of liberation.

We all have situations in our lives where we have to choose between the seductive appeal of getting even, attractive but harmful to our “integrity,” and the cleansing power of forgiveness and moving forward.  You give up power by remaining resentful – and regain strength and authority by not giving in to the temptation to get even.

Have a little matzo and wine tonight and walk into tomorrow with your head held high.

Look rich – die broke

While driving through Tampa, Florida recently I saw a cool car accessories shop – obviously a place to trick out your car – with this sign out front:

“Rent your wheels and tires here.”

Now I know we have places to rent furniture, clothes and appliances.  But I always suspect that these businesses are preying on poor people – or at least people who don’t plan very well.  So here we go – if you can’t afford new 22” rims with low profile tires why should you be deprived of looking super cool anyway.  Just rent them.  Who cares if you’ll pay six times what the tires are worth in the course of a year?  You can look slick tonight – it’s the American way.

This is an example of what Thomas Stanley talks about in his latest book – Stop Acting Rich.  I’ve highly recommended his previous books – The Millionaire Next Door and The Millionaire Mind. In this newest one he reveals the surprising practices of the really rich. They eat at modest restaurants, buy modest cars, and live in modest houses. The average dinner cost for the truly rich is $19.59 and very few ever spend over $10 on a bottle of wine. Guess who’s flashing the $250 bottles and putting $300 dinners on their American Express – yep, it’s the pretenders – those who want to impress others.

It’s pretty eye-opening to realize how much marketing is directed at those who want to “act rich.” This book may help you see real wealth in new ways. Bring rich doesn’t mean you have to waste money.

I’m good but not great

There is a PBS special running right now on the music of David Foster (Hit Man – David Foster and Friends).  As the hosts asked him about his early years in music, one response jumped out at me.  David said he loved music as a child and his parents allowed him to take lessons in classical music.  But David said:  “I was good, but not great.”  He went on to explain that if he had been a better musician he would likely have ended up as an anonymous face in some orchestra.  Not being great forced him to look for other ways to be involved in music.  So he writes and produces for other musicians.  It has been said that Foster’s songs have made “many famous singers into superstars.”  Many of his songs have become well known through the voices of Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand, Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Micheal Buble, and Boz Scaggs.  And his own fame and fortune has far surpassed what he could have possibly hoped for as a “great” musician. 

In The Millionaire Mind author Thomas Stanley looks at the common characteristics of people who have ended up ended up extremely wealthy.  Their average GPA is 2.7.  Why isn’t it that all 4.0 students become wildly successful?  Maybe their “greatness” came too easily and they missed the benefits of the struggle.  

If “greatness” has not come easily for you have you given up the pursuit and settled for mediocrity?  Or have you looked for alternative approaches for success anyway? 

Maybe “greatness” that comes too easily is itself an obstacle.  We’ve all seen athletes, musicians, writers, and speakers who were so naturally great they never had to exercise the discipline to survive the hard times – and quickly faded into oblivion. 

Maybe not being “great” is your biggest hidden asset.