Better to Try and Fail — or Fail to Try?

Last night I watched the 2007 movie Lions for Lambs with my son, Jared.  In this movie a brilliant but apathetic student asks his professor (Robert Redford), “Is there any difference in trying but failing, and simply failing to try – if you end up in the same place anyway?”  He was attempting to justify taking the safe route; never really taking a stand or trying anything big.

What do you think?  Do you cringe at trying something big because of the possibility of failure?  What if you tried for the promotion but failed to get it, started a business but lost your investment, or tried a MLM system but got nothing other than a garage full of vitamins – are you somehow better off?  Or would your life have been better if you had avoided the hassle and the disappointment altogether? 

Yes, I hear from people every day who tried and failed.  One gentleman lost $11 million in a gas and oil business.  Another lost $3.2 million inherited from his grandmother in a failed retail clothing business.  Research shows that if you are under thirty years old, the chances that you will be fired in the next twenty years is 90 percent.  Bernie Marcus was fired from a job as manager of the Handy Dan Improvement Center, then went on to start Home Depot.  In 1988 I experienced a horrible “failure” in business – having to borrow a car to drive to start generating income again.  Should I have avoided the pain and anguish by taking a safer route, or was that experience the necessary catalyst for learning the principles that launched the success I enjoy today?  My friend Dave Ramsey lost his real estate business and suffered personal embarrasement after trying to become rich through his investments. Should he have taken a safer career path?

What has your life experience taught you about trying big things?  Have you learned to keep a low profile to avoid failure?  Or have you found that “failure” leads to bigger successes?

Is Your Music Still in You?

Oliver Wendall Holmes once said “Many people die with their music still in them.”  I think that captures the fear of about 99% of the people I see who come in for career coaching.  Either they know exactly what gift or talent they have that they are not using or they are just afraid they have somehow missed finding their real authentic and fulfilling path.

What is that area that is lying dormant for you?  I recently had a pharmacist approach me at the end of a short presentation I titled Hold Fast to Dreams.  He said he had been in his profession for 17 years and could not think of any dreams he had.  In his description of his “responsible, predictable” life it became clear to both of us that his dreams had become buried along the way.  All those childhood passions had been put aside as one responsibility led to another.  At this point he was so desensitized that he couldn’t even bring them to mind anymore.  He began weeping in the 3 minutes of our conversation as he identified his current life.

You know the symptoms:  as a child you loved singing but now you haven’t sung in 20 years.  Or every time you see a news item about the starving people in Africa it brings you to tears – but you’ve never done anything to help.  Or when you see a beautiful painting you remember how much you loved that second grade art class.  You may recognize that whenever you are around old people you are energized by the compassion and wisdom they have – but you only go there once or twice a year.

Change – even when unwelcome or unexpected, often wakes up those dormant dreams.  I have seen physicians move to the country to take up organic gardening, pastors who switched to fulfilling careers as artists, and housewives who emerged from the years of raising children to release their gifts in writing and counseling. 

“Many people die with their music still in them.  Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live…Before they know it….time runs out.”  Oliver Wendell Holmes

Check out this 7 year-old singing the National Anthem.   He’s getting his “music” out.  It will be interesting to see where he is 30 years from now.  Will he be enjoying singing as he does today?  Or will the realities of life have him push that down as “unrealistic” as he goes off to his cubicle each day?